Final ministry update!
Some of the beautiful ladies I got to work with this year
Full disclosure, this is at the beginning so that the blog thumbnail is not my face.
My ministry update this month comes both in a video and written format. They essentially say the same thing so take your pick.
I wanted to save this update for later, because it's my very last one. I've got two weeks left with FOCUS, and then I'm heading off to grad school in the fall! Thank you guys so much for the prayers and support over the last two years. It's been amazing.
There are at least a million things I could reflect on looking back at my time with FOCUS, but there are these two connected themes I felt like he specifically wanted me to share: trust and surrender.
Last year at this time, I was dead set on campus ministry being a long term job. I had visions of great things I was gonna do for God, and I was really excited. And if you know me, you know I'm very task oriented. I like to set goals and stick with them wholeheartedly until they're completely finished. If you'd told me then that I'd move on less than a year later, I would've said "Then what's the point? How much of a difference can I really make in one year?" Surprise, surprise, God is not bound by my idea of productivity.
Let me tell you how much of a difference one year can make. For starters, I learned to connect with people. Previously, I could spend regular time with people for months without them feeling very close to me, and I had no idea why. This year, there is not a single person I meet with regularly that I wouldn't consider a close friend. And it happened so quickly! Last month, I started meeting up with somebody new and just yesterday we were both tearing up a little, thinking about how impactful our friendship has already been. I'm pretty sure every single staff member at Collin this year has told me at one point or another that I'm really connecting with people well. Like, what the heck God? How did you manage to turn that around completely in less than 12 months?
This past year, I also have a newfound sense of overwhelming peace. And I think it comes from taking baby steps towards surrender. It's so funny to me, because we humans just hang on so tight to our own control. I know I have, especially when it came to major dreams, like getting married. I just wanted it so badly that I would do everything I possibly could to orchestrate it. But the really dumb thing is that that just makes everything worse! We say surrender is hard but when you've really surrendered something to God, you're just flooded with a sense of peace, and comfort and contentment. And over these past few months, God has really planted that seed in my heart. Again, I'm amazed. I don't picture worry as something that can just melt away in the span of a few months, but it totally did!
Looking back, I am so glad I'm not god. My way was to meticulously plan out the next decade, allowing for gradual and slow growth in important areas, while everything else (job, marriage, kids) fits perfectly into my ideal timeline. But he kinda just showed up and did what he wanted to do and honestly, it was so much better.
So I don't know if or how this speaks to you, but I just wanted to say: don't underestimate what God can do. He could part the Red Sea, conquer death, and dramatically change the world through one carpenter from Israel; he sure as heck can turn your life around in a heartbeat.
Love you all and thank you so much for supporting and praying for me during this.